From the hospital bed

A quick update from the hospital bed post surgery. All went well and am actually feeling ok emotionally at this point. I think it’s because I’m relieved that the cancer has been cut out of me. Pre op I honestly thought I’d be an emotional mess post op so I’ve surprised myself. I’ve shed a few tears but much less than I thought I would at this stage.

Going into surgery I was also surprisingly calm. I had to wait for an hour after leaving my room in the pre op area and I just breathed and rested my eyelids in between visits from the surgeon, anesthetist and nurses. I even ended up walking to the operating room and jumping up on the operating table myself as all the orderlies were busy. The anesthetist told me before surgery that because I’m allergic to egg whites he couldn’t use the normal anesthetic because it contains egg white proteins so he would have to keep me asleep with gas. He said this would probably make me more nauseous afterwards. He also had trouble finding a vein for the drip to sedate me. They kept collapsing as I was dehydrated and the needle must have been scaring them away. That part was painful and reaffirmed my decision to have a portacath during chemo treatment instead of trying to find veins in my right arm all the time. The portacath will be inserted under the collarbone and stay there for the duration of treatment. This will happen under general anesthetic. My left arm can never be used for taking blood or blood pressure eve again. I also have to be careful with it in the sun and watching for infections. Having no lymph nodes under the left arm may cause life long issues and I’ll have to be very careful with it not just now but always.

Back to the op. 3rd time lucky with the drip on the inside of the elbow which is the worst spot for it really as I can’t bend my arm. Soon after he got that in I was out to it. In la la land with my good friend Cheree who was having a hernia op yesterday. We thought of each other as we went to sleep. I remember waking in recovery and being given morphine for the pain. That’s some strong stuff! Wow. I also remember being wheeled back to my room and being given anti nausea medicine a couple of times. I felt pretty horrible from all the gas. Bloody egg white allergy!

I dozed off and on all afternoon having mini conversations with mum and Derek when required with eyes shut. Evening arrives and I thought I might like to try my dinner. I looked at the soup and thought that apple juice might be safer. Lucky because the nausea was still hanging about and did so for most of the evening until a nurse made my drink some frothy medicine really quick which also came back up. That seemed to do the trick though and I felt much better afterwards. I even managed to keep some fruit down. I slept pretty well waking up at 5am starving. Some toast and water and I was back to feeling almost human again. I’ve continued to eat and drink really well all day and they’ve taken my drip out (but have left the canular in just in case they need to pop the drip back on).

I saw my surgeon this morning and she also spoke to mum and Derek yesterday after surgery. She felt very confident that she got clear margins from what she removed. She also took the three levels of the lymph nodes. Unfortunately she couldn’t locate the internal mammary node but this area is going to be radiated anyway. She only put one drain in which will continue draining fluid from the area. It’s pretty uncomfortable and a little painful at times so I’ll look forward to having this out in 7-10 days if not sooner. The whole area is swollen and numb in places. I have looked at my chest and felt a bit numb myself like I didn’t know what I should be feeling. I’m sure the tears will come with time. At the moment I just want to focus on feeling better physically. I’ll have to deal with the emotional side at a later date.

Rosie and Polly also came to visit today. I was so happy to see them but sad at the same time that I couldn’t give them great big squeezes. Here’s a pic of the three of us:

20120831-172619.jpg

I’ll leave it there as my dinner has arrived and my appetite has returned to normal. Tomorrow is another day and I’m sure I’ll feel even better than I did today. Thanks again for all the words of support and encouragement. It’s all helping at this extremely difficult time.

17 thoughts on “From the hospital bed

  1. To have the strength to continue to write & keep everyone updated is just amazing Cassie. Thank you! I wait with angst as to what you will write next. As your story continues, I continue to admire your strength… Which is exactally what you need to beat this dreadful disease. Remain strong beautiful girl x

  2. Am a little lost for words (unlike me hey!) but do know that you are in our thoughts lots and although it makes me sad to read what you are going through its great to know how you are doing and progressing through things..
    X

  3. U r a true champion my friend. words cant explain how proud we are of u. im so glad surgery went well. good timing re finding out about the allergy b4 all this happened! love the photo of u and ur precious girls. Thanks for keeping us updated, I hope writing them is as therapeutic as we find reading them. Makes us feel a little less helpless as we travel this journey with u.

    Love u

    Cc
    Xx

  4. Well done doll , the worst is over . You’ll be ok from here . Sounds like your under great Doctors and you’re so well informed . Keep up the possitive attitude and dont worry when you have down days . Rest easy now Cassie and just take one day at a time . xxxx and a x for your Mum

  5. So pleased to read and see the Cassie we all know and love in this post.
    Your pre op and post op calmness is no doubt a result of your overall attitude and we know it will see you through the days ahead.
    Rest and EAT for now!
    Xxxx

  6. Well done Cas, was so good to read your post. The photo of you and the girls is beautiful. Sit back, rest and enjoy the hospital food (hope it’s as good as the Rocky Mater). Xxoo

  7. You are amazing!!!!!!! what a beautiful photo of the 3 of you. xx
    wishing you all the best for your recovery & for the rest of your fight. you are in our thoughts alwaysxx

  8. Glad to hear things are progressing for you Cassie. Won’t be long before we are back home and will hopefully be able to help you in any way we can. Thinking of you and your family.

  9. Oh Cassie you are one amazing human being and woman we are so lucky to have you in our life what an inspiration. Keep staying positive rest and may the healing angels be with you to get you all better (:

  10. Hi Cassie, so glad your surgery went well for you and hope you’re feeling a bit better 2day. I couldn’t imagine what your going through but your a strong person so you will recover in no time at all. Goodluck with the rest of your journey. Love Simone

  11. Good to read that your surgery went well Cassie. You were in my thoughts all day. All the best sweets. Lots of hugs and kisses to you, Del and the girls xxoo

  12. Again, you continue to “WOW” me Cas!! Here is to a very speedy recovery so you can give those beautiful girls huge cuddles! Lot’s of love xxxxxx

  13. Good to hear you have come through so well. There will be plenty of time to hug the girls. put all your energy into your recovery . you have so much loving thoughts beign sent you way xoxo

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